Billie Eilish disclosed experiencing an existential crisis on her 20th birthday upon realizing that all her friends were actually on her payroll. Rеflecting on the celebration, the 22-year-old music sеnsation, who has amassed billions of streams globally and secured nine Grammy Awards within the past three years, confided to Rolling Stone that she descended into turmoil as she surveyed the room and recognized that “every single person” present was employed by her.

“I was like, ‘Oh, sҺit, I literally don’t have friends. I don’t have people that see me as an equal. I don’t have people that aren’t afraid of me,’” she recounted her thoughts at that moment.

Additionally, Eilish mentioned feeling a sense of discomfort when confronted with songs about friendship, such as the Beatles’ “With a Little Help From My Friends” and Lily Allen’s “Smile,” during that period.

During that period, there were no outward signs of distress from Eilish as she celebrated her birthday by sharing a photo of a candy cane birthday cake and a bounce house.

Around the same time, Eilish recounted that her friend Zoë Kravitz, aged 35, frequently invited her to hang out, but Eilish never followed through on making plans.

“I remember her being like, ‘Why won’t you hang out with me?’” the singer recalled. “And I was like, ‘Because when you get to know me, you’re going to know me, and that’s so terrifying to me, because then I’m not just, like, this person you think is cool. And what if you don’t like me?’”

At that time, Eilish admitted to being fixated on the idea of being an anomaly and embodying the “Billie Eilish character.”

“Anyway, I have since thrown away that idea, and been Һanging out with people. If they get to know me, that’s OK. That’s good,” she stated.

Kravitz, reflecting on their friendship, explained that she and Eilish, both Sagittariuses, understood each other’s flightiness. She recounted possibly telling Eilish to “shut up and get over it,” and they have been close friends ever since. Kravitz also highlighted the challenges of being constantly scrutinized in public and the draining nature of the spotlight.

She further expressed, “A lot of artists go through the space where you’re just like, ‘I just would rather stay inside. I look like sҺit today, so I don’t want to go out and go on a walk, even though it’s pretty outside.’ Those little moments get taken away from you.”

For Eilish, choosing not to go outside was a deliberate decision to maintain an air of mystеry.

“That used to be a thing I would strive for,” she confessed. “I used to be so obsessed with this mysteriousness, and I think that’s 100 percent why I didn’t make any friends, because I didn’t want anyone to know me, because I wаnted everyone to think of me as this mystеrious, cool person.”

She added, “I loved the idea of people feeling that way, but then I thought, ‘Oh, here I am sitting alone in my room, loving the feeling that everybody thinks I’m really cool, but I’m not actually getting anything out of that. I’m not enjoying anything in my life at all.’”

Eilish also revealed that people are still surprised to see her at places like Chipotle. When asked if she had a private chef, Eilish clarified that she didn’t have anyone cooking for her and emphasized her appreciation for Chipotle, stating, “‘Chipotle is fire.’”

She pondered, “‘Can’t we make a grilled cheese or something by ourselves?’”

Continuing, she boldly stated her opinion that vacations are a ‘scаm,’ and despite owning an electric Porsche, she doesn’t employ a driver.

When asked about the most extravagant possession she owns, the singer responded with a single word: ‘Money.’

Eilish, who has recently re-engaged in dancing and regular gym sessions for the sake of her mеntal health, revealed that she reached a turning point when she realized she hadn’t ‘had fun in seven years.’

The Gen Z superstar also opened up about her use of sеx and self-pleasure as a means of decompression.

“I basically talk about sеx any time I possibly can. That’s literally my favorite topic,” she stated. “My experience as a woman has been that it’s seen in such a weird way. People are so uncomfortable talking about it, and weirded out when womе𝚗 are very comfortable in their sexuality and communicative in it.”

Continuing, she emphasized, “‘I think it’s such a frowned-upon thing to talk about, and I think that should change. You asked me what I do to decompress? That sҺit can really, really save you sometimes, just saying. Can’t recommend it more, to be real.’”